Show and Tell
For those who have asked, I am not related to, or a pseudonym of, Mr. Welldone. I have wandered the dark for a very long time, and it has taught me a great deal. It has provided experiences you will not find elsewhere. The first time I held a human brain in my hands, soft and glistening, so much smaller than I had imagined. I tilted it gently back from the hole in the skull I had carved, carefully severed the connection to the spinal cord just below the medulla and it fell free. In that instant, all this person had been, all they could have become, every thought, emotion and dream they had ever encompassed, I held in my cupped palms. It was a moment of disgust, revelation, and humility. That was a long time ago, and even then, I had been on my path for years. What other life could offer me such a moment? At the time I wondered, who other than me, would want it? Mr. Welldone’s choice has given me an answer. We are surrounded by these ’slices of the dark’, as Nukey puts it, we are part of something more already, whether we like it or not. The dark is not a destination, or even hidden in the way most think of it. It watches you, it whispers to you, and it breathes softly, just at the threshold of hearing, even as you read this note. The lost, the disturbed and the freaks I have met here are inspiring. The dark has already laid its mark on you, or you would not be here. You certainly wouldn’t continue to return. You have all come through reasons of your own, though the threads are common.. curiousity, boredom, amusement. For those who seek more, what moment have you had that set you on your path? For those who do not seek, or have had no experience, what would you require before you were willing to step into the unknown?
November 22, 2008 at 12:23 PM
Interesting. Perhaps I have underestimated the dark power of the first comment. I have seen it everywhere, and dismissed its possibilities. Was it what set you on your path, or what you would require to seek more deeply? I must find a way to tap this unholy strength and make it my own. You, Anonymous, will sit at my right hand on that day. Or maybe you could use a chair. Something nice, but not too nice. Perhaps a couple of throw pillows as well, if you answer quickly. It will be a luxurious spot to watch the decline of all we behold. Not as luxurious as my recliner, but pretty damn comfy. If Nukey is able to steal or requisition the parts for his rocket powered chainsaw, I imagine it would be quite a show. What say you, Anonymous? Do we have a bargain?
November 22, 2008 at 4:10 PM
I’m not sure what would have me walking into the unknown. I suppose I would have to face it and then have the courage to keep on walking.
One unknown we are doomed to face is death. I think I’m afraid of it, though more so the way it might happen. We all hope for a peaceful death, few are so lucky. Why hope for it, it will just worsen the blow if it doesn’t go our way. What ever happens, happens. The actual concept of death is a curious thing. I think one of the questions Mr.WellDone braught up was why we don’t just face it now. Well death might be curious, but there is a lot to be had in life. Why be over eager and move onto the next thing so soon? Not that it wont all be to soon anyway.
As for the unknowns in life. I think rather than searching for them myself, I might end up wandering up to one inadvertently one day. I suppose we’ll see what happens then.
November 23, 2008 at 12:49 AM
The moment that set me on this path towards who only knows what, was when, on one lunch hour, I stupidly decided to examine my religious beliefs and that they may be wrong about everything, specifically what happes after death. So I contemplated other outcomes to life, one of them being non-existence. My poor little brain couldn’t completly comprehend non-existence (though I now have a vague idea) and I had a mental breakdown. I spent hours crying, cursing, destroying, and pointlessly fearing the inevitable. My fear and hate grew worse every minute, until I eventually decided to find the answer by whatever means necessary, even if it’s not the one I want, so that others won’t worry the way I did.
So now, I have an extreme fear of what happens after death. That’s why I came here, that’s why I continue. I can’t stand the thought that after I die, there might not be any way of getting back into existence to continue watching everything. It’s all so interesting, and I don’t ever want to stop watching. Ever.
I don’t know what I’d do if I were to find out that there wasn’t anything after death, but I’m pretty sure I’d do something involving killing everyone in sight, setting fire to every building and tree I come across, raping Nukey, and trolling anonymous one last time before breaking into where ever the government keeps their nucleur weapons, and launching all missles and firing all lazors at once at every country on earth and into space.
But don’t let that stop you from telling me if you find undisputable proof of an afterlife, rebirth, etc., or lack thereof. I’d appreciate it immensely, but until then, I’ll continue trying to figure it out for the rest of them.
Although, by Blank saying, “we are part of something more already”, it leads me to believe that maybe there is something after death after all.
November 23, 2008 at 12:51 AM
I’m really sorry for such a long comment. I seem to be leaving incredibly tl;dr comments lately.
November 23, 2008 at 4:27 AM
I became interested in the trappings of the shadows from a rather youthful age. I don’t believe this came about through particularly deep thought processes, for society always has a hidden admiration and envy for the Other, much as it wouldn’t like to admit it. As for when I truly set foot on this path of brambles and rot…I can point to no one point in time, merely a slow erosion in my faith in the puerile, pustulent vermin called humankind, and all that the greater mass of it held dear.
November 23, 2008 at 5:09 AM
Dea. Sounds like you have yourself a predicament there.
I never quite understood what is so terrifying about the concept of there being nothing. If there is nothing, I don’t see it to dissimilar from a flame going out. Does the flame have anything to fear? I mean if it could fear.
The idea of nothingness doesn’t scare me because I find the idea of existing for an eternity a lot more terrifying. What would be the point after a while?
November 23, 2008 at 10:48 AM
What terrifies me so much is that I, like every other human, will eventually grow old and die, so I won’t get to see the rest of humanity’s progress, success, fighting, downfall, and eventual destruction. Nothing is more interesting to me than watching everything.
I’d rather be the candle, the thing that will be around long enough to see all the flames, than the flame itself.
November 23, 2008 at 3:12 PM
Dea has, for lack of a less clichéd turn of phrase, hit the nail on the head for me. Something about nonexistence disturbs me greatly. There is so much to see in this life, so much that I fear I will miss. Worse, I cannot begin to comprehend an end of being. Nonexistence has been compared to sleeping, but what is sleep without a waking? Sure, W.e.y.l., the flame doesn’t fear the reaper, nor do the wind and the sun and the rain, but they’re not exactly sentient, are they? I am.
Anyways, I don’t feel as though I am on the path towards the Dark yet…Right now I’m dancing on the razor’s edge, balancing on the ledge of a great precipice, and it would surely take only the slightest push one way or the other to decide my path.
November 23, 2008 at 3:25 PM
Also, speaking of a fear of death, Mr. Welldone is the Count of St. Germain, right? I asked a few threads ago and didn’t get an answer, and I was wondering if you knew, Blank: Why is he still alive? Immortality tips would be nice, as long as they don’t include proper diet or lots of exercise. I’ve already heard those.
November 23, 2008 at 4:53 PM
I suppose then I’m just ok with the fact I’m not going to see everything I would like to, or get all the questions and mysteries I’ve ever come across answered.
Also TLB you might first want to ask the question of why we age. After that it’s a matter of solving that problem. It also includes a few other problems such as how can we find a more efficient way of healing and how can we live without the essentials. If you solve them all then I imagine you would find your immortality.
If you’re willing to pursue, good luck with it.
November 24, 2008 at 12:19 AM
Dea:
Raping Nukey?
Raping Nukey.
Raping nukey, raping nukey, raping nukey!
It’s so very beautiful in it’s simplicity.
Rape is one of my favorites.
Such a sweet and sour melange of mankind!
And so very… Manly. And I love men. I love men and boys, the thrill of testosterone and adrenaline and sweat and cum and blood. It’s enough to make me faint.
Raping nukey!
I’m grinning ear to ear.
My evening is made.
November 24, 2008 at 1:12 AM
This blog has become a lot sillier since Mr. Welldone’s departure, hasn’t it? Not that I mind the occasional dose of humor in between the crushing despair brought by the secrets of the Dark.
November 24, 2008 at 10:58 AM
I have to say, I am pleased by the responses so far. Whether or not Nukey will be as pleased by some of the commentary remains to be seen, though I look forward to it as well.
Dea: No need to apologize for the length of your comments, as far as I’m concerned. My interest is in the content of your thoughts, not thier brevity.
TLB: I couldn’t tell you why I’m still alive, much less him. I have to admit some curiousity on that question myself.
WEYL: We age because there is a genetic marker that is triggered and serves that exact purpose. Interestingly, if my memory of cellular biology serves, a cancer cell turns off that trigger when it mutates. That, however, causes a whole new set of problems. There is some interesting research being done to better understand that trigger and gain control of it, at the University of Sydney and Brunel University, in England.
Sleeves: A little, yes, but a life outside the light doesn’t need to be a misery. Our world is big enough to encompass horror and amusement and I embrace both with equal fervor.
November 24, 2008 at 6:37 PM
Who’s raping me now?
If you’re going to rape me could you at least pay me after? Technically that’s stealing, and I could use the cash to pay my massive electric bill. You’d be surprised how much funding is required just to power a generator for an entire underground lair.
Anyway, more to the point, we ARE all part of something larger. We’re part of the world, part of the universe, part of reality. We are the ebb and flow in the veins of existence.
Here’s a question for Blank, who might be able to speculate; would reality still exist if there was no sentient being around to be self-aware?
(This post paraphrased by Nukey’s Transcriptionist. I assure you he does not know the word ’speculate’. Although, ironically, he does know the word ‘nucleosynthesis’. I heard him use it earlier today while he was trying to describe nuclear fusion and was surprised he didn’t choke on it. But I digress.)
November 24, 2008 at 7:53 PM
Glad I made your evening, boar.
It’s not rape if I pay for it, Nukey, though I’d be more than happy to help pay any bills if I had money. Also, that question of yours just gave me one of the worst mindfucks of my life.
November 24, 2008 at 9:04 PM
Well, in that case, may I interest you in some consensual commercial intercourse instead of rape? Fifty bucks for a night. For seventy, I’ll let you tie me up…
November 24, 2008 at 9:17 PM
Hello.
Nukey. I give you a warning in the stead of banishment due to the unique insights upon the human mind you grant, none of which include your prurient interests.
You sully my domain and shall be permitted to do so no further.
I ask all that would visit this place to leave their base, fleshly desires out of any discussions in my domain.
Here we pursue that which is beyond the mortal corpus.
Do not cheapen that.
Do.
Not.
Blank. I am impressed with your treatment of this place. Perhaps your human view on the Dark will guide more into its mysteries.
I also appreciate that you have made this place your own.
Please continue to do so.
I now return to my task of making my will manifest in that vague entity which connects all of humanity.
I cannot wait.
I simply cannot.
November 24, 2008 at 9:53 PM
Hello.
Mr. Welldone, as much as I admire you, I have to disagree with you on the grounds of my religion. You tell me that desires of the flesh are irrelevant to the pursuit of darkness. Satan tells me that in order to achieve one with the unholy force, I must indulge in the things that bring me pleasure.
However, if you really don’t want me to talk about sex on your blog, I’ll cooperate just to avoid any further conflict, but I’d like to remind you that it was Dea first, and then Boar who brought up the topic to begin with, not me.
Otherwise, thank you for the mild compliment that was buried within your reaction. I’m honored you think I’m even the least bit insightful.
November 25, 2008 at 12:23 AM
Thank you, Mr. Welldone. Your point is both heard and understood.
Nukey: In answer to your question, reality would still exist as it is a state of being. Sentience merely grants us a conscious awareness of that state. When the sun rises, the stars don’t go anywhere or cease to exist, we are simply unable to percieve them.
In return, I have a question for you. You imply you are a satanist, or at least your Nukey persona is. If you are, what does being a satanist mean to you? Most I have met have been disaffected folks claiming it for shock value, or nihlists who use it as a convenient excuse to indulge themselves. The few I have met who are neither have provided me with some very thought-provoking viewpoints.
November 25, 2008 at 1:04 AM
I am not a persona, I’m just too lazy to type things myself.
Lazy, in this case, means horrible at English. Continuing.
What you are speaking to is Pocky, my transcriptionist. The Pocky already knows everything about me, and I trust the Pocky to carry out my most personal and mundane tasks. Typing and writing and reading is one of them. I’m a math guy, not a words guy.
I can’t ever tell if he’s actually dyslexic or just relishing in his ability to make people do simple things for him that he should be doing himself. Continuing.
Now to answer your question regarding my Satanism. This might be kind of personal, but I don’t see what it would hurt to let a supernatural aficionado such as yourself know.
When I was just a young boy, Satan first introduced himself to me, and told me I had been chosen since my very conception to bring about chaos and destruction on a global scale. He said he understood me, and would aid me in any way he could, as long as it meant that I carried out his duties. He said few people in the world still try to make a difference, and that more than anything, it is important to destroy. For improvement will only come after the previous state is destroyed.
Even if reality doesn’t ultimately matter, the least it can do is continue to grow and improve. It’s not like it has anything better to do.
If that doesn’t quite answer your question, feel free to let me know.
November 25, 2008 at 2:20 AM
It will do, thank you.
November 25, 2008 at 7:57 PM
I’m sorry Mr. Welldone, I only used “rape Nukey” as part of an example of what might happen when I go insane. It won’t happen again.
November 25, 2008 at 11:15 PM
As a child I have always had an attraction toward the darkness, and the unknown. I feel as if I had always been on a darker path than everyone else.
It is a true blessing that I have stumbled upon this place on the internet. Were I can read of the words of those who already ventured deep into the dark road.
What things you can teach us about the darker worlds.
Then again, maybe some of us already know everything about the dark, but unknown to us we surpress it, we try to forget all the terrible things we have seen–and just need a little push to have it all come rushing back.
November 25, 2008 at 11:54 PM
I did spend sometime wondering why Nukey was scolded like a crumb covered urchin while Dea and I were left to our own devices.
I eventually came to the conclusion that for Mr. Welldone, The separation was not merely a line, but a vast expanse. Rape is part of the darkness, completely incomparable to any coitus. Secondly, he may view the proposal as plainly stupid. A prostitute that allowed themselves to be tied up would risk money loss or murder.
More likely though, he meant for the reprimand to reach all of us. I never have been able to listen though.
November 26, 2008 at 3:21 AM
I think my behavior tends to be repellent and perhaps Sir Welldone was a little biased.
That’s okay. Even I can’t really tolerate myself, sometimes.
(You aren’t the only one…)
Oh yeah, that’s a good point. Being tied up might be a bad idea I guess.
Thanks for the advice, Boar!
November 26, 2008 at 6:06 AM
For those who seek more, what moment have you had that set you on your path? For those who do not seek, or have had no experience, what would you require before you were willing to step into the unknown?
A glance; a peek as though through fingers held up to my eyes — that’s what my visits to this site (and others like it) are. Do I seek more? I’m not sure. Certainly I have had enough of the dark hunting me, and I’ve no desire toward revenge for being hunted…what safety I have is precious to me.
I think, perhaps, I’m here for a measure of reassurance; I’m here to make sure that others might have seen what I’ve seen, that even though I’m alone I’m not the only…if that makes sense. I hope that I’ve answered satisfactorily, Blank.
November 26, 2008 at 3:40 PM
hello blank,
i must admit blank, i fear to stray beyond the edges of the dark. i took this path mainly because i have a messiah complex. i want to protect those around me from what might come from the dark. ignorance is not a shield from the unknown. so, i have come here to learn more about the dark. i do not know if this knowledge will protect me and those i care about from any suffering or merely delay the inevitable.
i wonder if there is a power in the dark to protect. if you can not beat them, then join them?
November 26, 2008 at 11:03 PM
I just have a quick question for Blank. What picture did you extract your avatar from? None of my art history buff friends have been able to ID it.
November 27, 2008 at 12:31 AM
Darkness takes us all eventually.
November 27, 2008 at 3:55 AM
Schiz: If you can find reassurance knowing you are alone and are not the only one, then be reassured.
ggg: You know there is, why not face the real question: What is the price for that power?
Noone: Just something I found someplace. I don’t remember where I got it, and it didn’t have any name.
R: And that is the biggest reason most start thier path to places like this. To face it on our feet instead of waiting for it to swallow us whole.
November 28, 2008 at 4:46 AM
price? well, i think that the loss of ignorance would be a heavy burden but i suppose that is not enough. what does man have that he could bargain with?
his soul?
i doubt anyone of power actually thinks a wisp is worth much.
his servitude?
what can man actually accomplish on his own?
and i for sure would not risk my loved ones. they would be the only reason i would take up this journey.
so blank, what is the price one must pay?
November 29, 2008 at 11:35 AM
You hear but you do not understand. I know the price for my path because I have paid it for my understanding. You are speculating on the possibility of a price for something you aren’t even looking for yet. This isn’t Wal-Mart and I am not a cashier, I can’t quote you an estimate. If it was that easy, then what you seek would be common knowledge.
November 29, 2008 at 11:49 AM
There was no moment, I’ve just always seemed to stumble upon, or take this path, rather than the lighter one. I continue out of idle curiousity, for the most part. Or maybe I do have a reason. However, if that is so, I’m not even aware of it.
November 29, 2008 at 2:58 PM
i am sorry blank, i did not mean to offend.
i also do not believe that you would be the cashier in any transaction with the dark. i am merely here to gather information before i take any path.
November 29, 2008 at 8:37 PM
Count yourself among the lucky that you get to gather information, ggg. And remember, “You may be deceived if you trust too much…”
November 30, 2008 at 12:58 AM
No One: A decent beginning. If your path leads you to places like this on a regular basis, perhaps you need to examine it more closely.
ggg: You did not offend, I just want to make clear what I can and can’t offer you. Gathering information is nearly always a wise choice, but the most important information is only gathered after taking the step. I simply see you potentially making a mistake that cost me more time than I would have willingly spent.
Schiz: Good advice for anyone following a path like ours. You can listen to the counsel of others, but it is YOUR foot that walks the path.
November 30, 2008 at 2:19 AM
thank you Schiz.
i will take your advice. even without venturing into the dark i have learned that trust should not be given freely.
and (mr?) blank, where do you suggest i begin.
November 30, 2008 at 2:46 PM
I’d imagine, ggg, that you’ll have to begin this path where all paths begin and end: Within yourself.
December 1, 2008 at 12:54 AM
Hello there Blank.
Truthfully, until I can fully understand my curiosity of the Dark, and the urge I have to follow this path laid out, my answer to your question is selfishness. Who or what is Mr. Welldone? Who, or what might you be Blank? Where will this path lead me? What can I gain? I appologize for my selfishness, but in a way, are we not all selfish if we want to stroll down this path to truly understand the unknown?
December 1, 2008 at 6:51 AM
Dear Blank
Are you 53 years old?
My friend and I have speculated as to what age you must be.
December 1, 2008 at 6:28 PM
Ellfa
Blank says that he has wandered the Dark for a long time, and has been taught many things. I would think that 53 years is such a short amount of time to even scrape the top of what the Dark has to offer to someone.
December 1, 2008 at 8:40 PM
For some reason I think that blank is either a teenager or a collage student who just happened to be in the right/wrong place at the right/wrong time.
December 7, 2008 at 9:46 PM
the only thing i have acquired from this post
is the spelling of ‘medulla.’
otherwise, there was something about brains and slices of darkness.
i am a coward anyway.
i would not tread into the unknown
i would not swim into the unknown
i would not dance into the unknown
i would not wade into the unknown
i would not touch the unknown with a thirteen-foot pole.
hope i have satisfied and/or ridiculously annoyed.
though now i am off
with a wave and a slight cough
but i ask that you don’t scoff
because i hate annoying prats like that anyway.
December 30, 2008 at 2:46 AM
Something I noticed about your post that I had a quick question about, blank. You say when you held the humans brain in your hand. and that you held all he had ever been and dreamed, do you not believe in the soul? I am simply curious as to your view on the subject. As for my answer to your question, I became interested when I first witnessed the death of someone I knew firsthand. It wasnt gory or anything like that, just an old lady who lived at the retirement home my dad cooked at. To see her alive and enjoying a good cooked meal I helped prepare, then watching as her heart failed, made me wonder as to what lies outside of my current perception. Ive been religious most of my life, but I still have doubts.
January 15, 2009 at 11:36 AM
It wasn’t as if I had much of a choice in getting caught up in all of this. But, now I’m afraid I’ve been entangled in all of it, and there’s no where else to go but deeper into it. So, as long as I’m making my way to the core of it, I may as well get better aquainted…